10 Things No Writer Wants To Hear From Their Writer’s Critique Group


Those J K Rowling plots are so serviceable aren’t they? I felt I knew your Garry Hotter the Boy Magician so well by the end of page one.


Which part of the phrase ‘short story’ do you have a problem with?


Has anybody else BUT Ian brought along something they would like to read to us tonight? Please? Pretty please?


You know I’m not the only one that didn’t think ‘Sh*te’ was the title Edna had in mind for her collection of romantic stories.


Well there is nothing wrong with a writer breaking new ground but you know I still think most publishers still look for a capital letter after a full stop.


No please carry on reading – it’s just my cold medication making me drowsy.


I’m not the only member of the group that thinks Jane Austen fans would struggle with the concept of Mr Darcy being a transgender sex offender.


Cheer up – you’re not the first person to spend three years writing a novel to be told it actually starts on Chapter 12.


We read your, ‘Hammy the Vampire Dormouse’ to our five year old grandson and I’m not totally convinced writing for children is your forte.


For heaven’s sake no! I’m not saying you should leave the group. Of course we’d miss you. However just think what else you could do with your monthly subscription money.